Vote NO!

To us, parenting is more than teaching our children to be polite, to eat good food, to learn, and to be disciplined.   The most important thing that we will ever teach them is to treat others they way they themselves wish to be treated.  That's not just a mantra we say.  It goes to the heart of what kinds of food we eat.  What kind of car we drive or do not drive, in Paul's case.  That notion is the reason we live where we live, the reason we do the kind of work we do, it's behind how we make our money, where we spend our money, and why and how we save our money.  It informs our investments, the choice of country we live in, the church we attend, the schools to which we will enroll our children, the friends we keep, and most importantly, of late, the way we vote.  We tell Greta and Wyatt nearly every day at some point or other:  "Think about what you are doing.  How would you like it if someone did that same thing to you?  If you wouldn't like it, then please don't do it."  That's it.  A simple recipe for living in harmony with our world and our neighbors.  Paul and I are not perfect at this.  We have big egos and short tempers, but we aim everyday to get back to this simple way of living, this golden rule.  And I'm not talking, here, about values. God save us from "family values" - - which is just a bigotted, right-wing platform through which we are told it is ok to hate, which ironically becomes the only clear value involved. I hate the color of your skin; it's not like my own, so I believe that you should not receive the same human rights that I enjoy.  You were not born in the same country as I, and therefore, you do not deserve the same human dignity that I deserve.  You love in a way that I do not love; the way I love is normal and the way you love is abhorrent and unnatural.  It only follows, then, that we should receive different human rights. I'm right.  You are wrong.  And we cannot just agree to disagree.  I want to take it one more step - - I want freedoms that you can not have. So goes the logic of conservatives' absconding with the term: family values.  What I'm talking about, however, is more about what we do rather than what we value.  What action do we take?  If I were poor, I'd want someone to care enough to work for me when I could not afford to hire that person.  If I were hungry, I'd want someone to stop talking about feeding me and I'd want them to acutally help me to eat.  If I were a lost dog, I'd want someone to stop and read my collar and try to find my owner.  If I were a grocery store clerk and I rang up someone's groceries incorrectly, I'd want that person to react with dignity instead of making me feel stupid and small.  If I were a child, I'd want my parent to talk to me rather than spank me. If I were a Nigerien, I'd want someone to care enough about my life to learn about it instead of just saying that it's all too complicated to understand.  If I were in love with a woman, I'd want to be able to marry her.  If I were the daughter of two gay men, I'd want my dads to be able to get married.  The May 8th vote in North Carolina is one of the most important votes of my lifetime.  Here, there is a proposed Constitutional Amendment on that May 8th ballot that would define marriage as between a man and a woman only and would ban any other type of domestic legal union such as civil unions and domestic partnerships.  In doing that, it would strip same-sex couples of the human right to marry and it would cease to protect their children in myriad ways.  It would create other legal pitfalls as well, but I take issue most starkly with the way it creates, yet again, second class people in the name of family values.  It destroys families - at least legally speaking - in an effort to protect in some absurd way the right types of families.  Since this so lacks any bone of logic or kernel of validity, one is led again to know that it's just another way to divide instead of unite.  Another way to separate.  It's not popular anymore to be a racist, but it's still fine to be a bigot. Greta and Wyatt were with Paul and me when we drove the vote-no sign into our front yard.  They are with me when we raise the alarm in conversations with our friends about this and other great injustices.  And they'll get this lesson over and over and over for the rest of their lives.  Treat others the way you wish to be treated.  For Beth and Beth, Frankie, and Nora.  For Andrea and Tristan.  For Fletcher, Greg, and Hudson. For Kelly and Kelly.  For Scott.  For Bradford.  And for every other family we know - gay or straight - who knows that our world could use a little less hatred right now.  May we all teach our children to treat others as they wish to be treated.  And may we all unite to have some small part in helping to uphold those families instead of creating yet another obstacle.  Vote no on May 8th.