Wars and Child Rearing

Yesterday, we went to church and the sermon was entitled "What shall we do in regard to this present war?" It was the same title of a similar sermon by a similar Unitarian minister back during the Mexican War. Portions of that old sermon were interspersed with the one we were currently hearing, and they were eerily similar. All the themes of the government not recognizing or caring about the casualties of war - - and then defining who those casualties of war really are. Gandhi was quoted as saying that the only way to find ourselves is in losing ourselves in service to others. Jesus was quoted as saying blessed are the peacemakers. And our own minister said, "I have never studied any religion which states that we should somehow be more concerned with the lives of the people living in our own national borders than with the people living elsewhere." It seemed that here was a group of people who are generally committed to social justice and treating our neighbors as ourselves, and we are generally opposed to the wars currently underway. But how, then, do we make a change? We've voted for change and yet 15 months into this administration, we have seen little in terms of the wars. We have written to our Congress women and men. We have discussed the issue with one another and with our peers and families. What more can we do to end the killing in a place where an eight year old child has no idea what it would be like to go to bed without hearing explosions; without seeing American soldiers in the streets; without hearing "unmanned drones" whizzing by. How can we change the outcome for American soldiers and their families and also for the families of the dying and tormented in Iraq and Afghanistan? As I sat there and listened to this, my first impression was to feel helpless. I seldom feel that way, so I took a second look. The reason I am posting my impressions here on Greta's blog is because it occured to me that in raising my child to hold dear certain ethics and to give her a call to feel somthing for others far and near - - in that way I can change outcomes for both of our generations. I have felt this call for many months now as I seek to teach her not only how to eat with a spoon and how to wash her hands - - but also how to be kind. Only by being kinder myself can I teach her to be so. And only in her kindness will the ripple effect begin to manifest to her future peers and community and government. Only by showing Greta that everyone matters by virtue of my own actions, can she ever learn to own that sentiment for herself. I hope that I can show Greta that there are different types of people in the world. Only by showing her how to give back to her community and world can I expect her to follow my lead. In aiming to teach my daughter valuable life lessons which will hopefully impact her immediate community and then also color her generation, I must rise to that challenge myself. I have said before that having a child has made me want to be a better person. I cannot ask Greta to do anything that I am unwilling to do myself. I cannot expect her to be brave and thoughtful and reflective and hopeful and willing and compassionate if I cannot be those things, too. I want Greta to feel that she has power to change things. To make a difference. To recognize when something doesn't feel right and to try to make it ring true. In aiming to give those qualities to her, I will have to have them for myself. Lately Paul and I have noticed how much Greta is watching us and doing what we do. This can be simple like how she knows the gestures we use when telling a story. Or how she wants to put her coat on when we put our coats on. Or brush her teeth when I am brushing mine. If she is watching us and mimicking us, we want that to be for the good. Yesterday's reflection ended up being about more than ending a wrong war. It has become a renewed focus on being the change we wish to see and in hoping Greta follows suit.